Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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