dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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