He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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