theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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