question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
