Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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