I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
