So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was born a porn star she said
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
