yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
