Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
