OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
