Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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