Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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