Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
