true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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