There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
