Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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