Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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