you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
