we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
