The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
