I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
