I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
