is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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