i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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