A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
