ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
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...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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