STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
