he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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