I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
