Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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