i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
