Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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