so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
