Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
