I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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