i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
