i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
