i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
you never un-have a 4some
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
