And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
