Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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