I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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