So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
