I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
