Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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