Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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