I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
