I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize