I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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