Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
