i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
how does that bad decision feel?
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