Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
