The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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