I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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