She's JV to your varsity
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
