I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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