She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
