i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
